Saturday, June 22, 2013

Things I learned on a week long road trip:

1. The Grand Canyon is a big hole in the ground.
2. Monument Valley isn't that impressive.
3. The Petrified Forest kinda makes me wanna cry.
4. I have a deep, fiery hatred of Arizona and would bring a curse down upon it but that land is already cursed.
5. I am better at night driving than day driving.
6. My dad is trying to kill us, considering three times he made me go down a one-way street. The wrong way.
7. If you give my brother a red bull, monster, and then stick him in the backseat of a car for six hours, we all suffer.
8. Having your car break down at night in the desert is surprisingly fun. Wrapping yourself in your cape and falling asleep in thorns is less fun.
9. Letting the girl who hasn't been driving for more than a few months navigate the Houston highways at midnight is an awful idea.
10. My dad will never be comfortable with me going over 60 mph, but I have a deep appreciation for 80.
11. Car games are easily butchered by my family. "There's a string theory on a quark on a proton on an atom on a wart on a frog on a log on a bump in the bottom of the seat!" and "I went to a picnic, and brought apples, bananas, carriages, diapers, elephants, quantum berries, socks, and TNT."
12. I almost got kidnapped looking for a bathroom. Don't trust gas stations that are connected to cheap motels.
13. If you walk into a Taco Bell wearing a dress, guys are very nice to you.
14. Don't walk outside naked accidentally.
15. Always know where your towel is.
16. Don't go swimming at Monastery Beach. You'll die.
17. All of my grandmother's stories end in death.
18. Everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
19. I am not allowed to pee off the side of the Grand Canyon, because I'll "start an avalanche" and then "fall and die."
20. I am never leaving my bed again.


  1. #18 Hilarious! Isn't that from the show Avatar: The Last Airbender? I loved that show. This just prepares me for my family's upcoming road trip to Chicago.

  2. Sounds like an...intense...trip. Your blog is great, by the way.