Monday, June 30, 2014

The Details

I know what you're thinking.
Tacos are delicious.
Okay, no, about me.
"Zena, you disappeared for months and then came back to vaguely talk about your vagina!"
Right.
And that was bad of me.

So here's a quick run down of some major life events, yes?

I have a cool new boyfriend. He's... alright. Pretty swell. I like him, I guess.
...I mean, besides the whole I'm in lesbians with him and I lost my virginity to him in an outdoor pillow fort in the woods a few months back and we've been dating for over a year.
But other than that, he's okay. He makes a lot of puns. You may know him from my previous posts, specifically of freshman year, I called him Irish? He drinks less now but eats the same amount of potatos.

I had mono! (Poor boyfriend.) I failed a few classes and slept through the others, when I managed to make it to school. School was not so great this year.

Due to being depressed and chronically tired, I kinda stopped doing everything. Talking to people. Being a friend. Homework. Enjoying things. Karate. It was not great.

Lumpy Boob and Irish stood by me though, and I've managed to reconnect with the people I missed the most and treated the worst; Horsegirl, Hyperchild, Jetplane, Top Hat, maybe even Stinson.

My friend group is just as incestuously confused and weird as ever. (Okay, we're not actually related, but still.) I'm not going to go into it too hardcore, but there's some new couples I ship with all the ships I can ship.

I'm slowly easing back into karate, but still have little endurance or stamina. It's been not so fun.

I'm hanging out with people again, and actually talking to them, and doing things.

I might be writing a book??? I had an idea a long time ago, a How-To Manual on, well, everything. I really want to finish this guys, mostly because I have no idea how to do anything and so researching might teach me things like taxes. And cars.
I teamed up with my good friend Eridan to help with the sex/gender definition guide, so even if we stop there we at least have... a sex/gender definition guide.
It's gonna be an online (for now???) book on how to do basic things, move on, live, not offend people, be educated, and maybe even survive.

The moral of this book is don't be a dick.

Anyway, if you know a lot about something and want to contribute, or know how to draw, or can draw pictures on how to change a tire or take pictures of someone doing it, you should let me know! I know very little. I can't promise money or fame but at least I'll write your name in the book for credit.

I'm just doing it on OneNote currently (my favoritist thing ever) so the working idea is giving people the share link. Because I am a great person. Probably. Maybe even pay what you can??

Again, I'm really excited and probably will finish this in never. I want to do this. I want you people to help.

Anyway, my vagina is healthy (sorry about the last post), I'm... not, but at least good things have happened!
And sex. The sex was very good.

So that's been the main highlights of my life recently. Did all you people show up while I was dying in bed? Who are you guys? How much do you care about my vagina?


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

There Was Metal In My Vagina

Okay so I disapreared for four months. Turns out I did have mono, the doctors never bothered to test for it because they hate me and just assumed I was tired because depression.

And so, to get us back into the swing of somewhat-funny mostly-inappropriate things, I shall show you the liveblog of my first trip to the gynecologist.
My orange juice tastes like eggs


I did not mean to send that.
Also I have a gyno appointment today I have not shaved my legs or crotch in a week this should be fun

Well..uh
I'm vaguely terrified
Stinson
After what you just said, we all are.
I'm scared of the probe
Save me
Utmb has wifi
Is this all an elaborate scheme to find out if I'm sexually active MOTHER
She asked me how many times I've had intercourse and I just kinda uhhhh
App arently the probes are kept warm so it's "very nice, well not nice but not bad" I laughed my butt off
For someone who talks about my vagina a lot I HAVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS TALKING ABOUT MY VAGINA
She was like "I notice you have some acne the pill will clear that up" well good then