Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Nothing Says Redneck Like A Camo Dress

I googled camo, just to make sure I was spelling it right (a, no a? cameo is something completely different, right?) and the best website ever popped up.
 It's called Camo Formal. And it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

Let's start off with a simple dress here. It's basically a normal dress.... but camo.

Now onto something more poofy. A white strip across the boobs means you're not just a rough and tumble huntress, you're classy as shit, too.

A basic dress, but now we're all fashionable, fucking pink camo up in this bitch.

Goin' back to our classy redneck roots, the ever popular halter top, and a bubble skirt to make your hips appear wider, because all huntresses know all hunters are looking for big wide birthing hips.

In case you've already bought your dress and are just now discovering this wonderful, wonderful website, never fear, you too can seem like a total hick at your wedding! A camo-edge detachable train, just for that poor unsuspecting dress, or a full camo train, because then the dirt won't show as you walk down the bloody, dirt-packed aisle after your flower-eating deer flower girl.

But we can't forget about Honey Boo Boo! Is your little angel a kicking and screaming "pageant star?" Then have we got the dress for you! Look at her, little camo dress with an orange bow and pink cowboy boots, all saucy. That hand placement says "I shall win the pageant because I've been shooting guns since I rolled out of the womb and if I don't I may innocently kill you."

Are you tired of wearing fancy dresses and the only place to put your phone is your boobs? Well fret no longer! White, blue, and some camo hidden somewhere in there, the only way to lose your phone is when the mountain lion you hired as the harpist tears off all your skin! Don't worry, it comes in camo and pink too!

In the mood for something... sexy? Camo's got you covered there too! But not too much, this is lingerie. For added fun, wearing matching camo bra and panties! Now in edible flavours, like "bark" or "deer blood" or "duck feathers!"

Are you tired of your sims wearing all the best dresses? Want to be a cosplaying-sim-whore while still redneck classy? No joke, my sim wears the exact same dress when she tries to seduce her husband outside. Because what's the point of sims if not giggling about the "woohoo?"

There's nothing quite like a mother that ignores her screaming child to the suffering of everyone around her. When your adorable little angel is dressed in this, you don't even have to go through the bother of pretending to ignore her, you can just straight up watch those screams and the cringes of those around you. Fuck yeah, parenthood.

If you want to go as a group and not stand out with your own personality at all, instead letting the guys all hit on the one of you with the biggest boobs, well then you can! Because homecoming is all about taking the woods to the dance floor.

And now, for the greatest dress, of all time.
It's classy.
It's a halter top, you don't get much more classy than that.

It's got a great design.
I mean it's poofy in the middle so of course.

It's green.
Straight up green camo, bitches. I can hide in the woods in this thing.

With the fashionable bonus of "hunter's orange" train, so while hunting in this dress at least people won't shoot your legs.

Can you handle this majestic dress? I can't.

Because sometimes, wearing cowboy boots just isn't enough of a "fuck you, I'm a redneck."

I don't think I've ever had so much writing in a blog post. Let me know what you think, or if you would actually wear one of these. I know I would... not. I would probably not. 


  1. omg, that things like this exist...
    This post made me laugh for way too long. :P
    I would never wear anything like that, though I must say it would be funny if someone actually showed up in something like this at prom (the people I know are crazy enough to do it...)

    1. I found this site and almost fell of my bed from laughing. I'm tempted to wear something like this just to mess with people.

    2. I can imagine the looks on my friends' faces if I'd show up in a camo dress for tomorrow's christmas prom at my school. Priceless :P