Acceptable Places to Lose My Virginity

I am a virgin, and plan on keeping it that way for the foreseeable future.
However, my friends have asked me where I plan to lose it.
Well... Any of these would do.

1. Pillow Fort
It would be comfy and safe-feeling and fun and IT'S A GODDAMN PILLOW FORT LIKE WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN THAT?

2. Tree House
It would have to be pretty well built and have some sort of cushioning but yeah seems fun.

3. Ball Pit
Probably couldn't do this unless you had your own private ball pit... so unlikely. I'll save it until marriage and just install a ball pit in my home.

4. Trampoline
Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy...

5. Any Play Ground Equipment
Swings! Slides! It's be fun!

6. Igloo
Especially one made with coloured water in blocks because it would glow a rainbow and you could have a small fire to be warm and lay down mats and lots of blankets and stuff and your body heat to keep hot... in more ways than one.

7. Bed
As long as we can jump on it.

8. Bouncy House
Bouncy, bouncy...

9. Porch Swing
GIANT SWING! ROCKING! I DON'T EVEN KNOW!

10. The Woods
Either in a fort or a blanket spread on the ground or something just the woods are beautiful and nature is beautiful you'd be surrounded by fairies and magic and beauty which is very important for getting naked in front of someone for the first time I think.

Anyway this also is part of my sex bucket list but a lot on my sexual bucket list would not be an appropriate first time story so now... we wait until I actually want to lose it, if ever.

Update:// I went with a pillow fort we built in the woods and it was magical.

Nothing Says Redneck Like A Camo Dress

I googled camo, just to make sure I was spelling it right (a, no a? cameo is something completely different, right?) and the best website ever popped up.
 It's called Camo Formal. And it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

Let's start off with a simple dress here. It's basically a normal dress.... but camo.

Now onto something more poofy. A white strip across the boobs means you're not just a rough and tumble huntress, you're classy as shit, too.

A basic dress, but now we're all fashionable, fucking pink camo up in this bitch.

Goin' back to our classy redneck roots, the ever popular halter top, and a bubble skirt to make your hips appear wider, because all huntresses know all hunters are looking for big wide birthing hips.

In case you've already bought your dress and are just now discovering this wonderful, wonderful website, never fear, you too can seem like a total hick at your wedding! A camo-edge detachable train, just for that poor unsuspecting dress, or a full camo train, because then the dirt won't show as you walk down the bloody, dirt-packed aisle after your flower-eating deer flower girl.

But we can't forget about Honey Boo Boo! Is your little angel a kicking and screaming "pageant star?" Then have we got the dress for you! Look at her, little camo dress with an orange bow and pink cowboy boots, all saucy. That hand placement says "I shall win the pageant because I've been shooting guns since I rolled out of the womb and if I don't I may innocently kill you."

Are you tired of wearing fancy dresses and the only place to put your phone is your boobs? Well fret no longer! White, blue, and some camo hidden somewhere in there, the only way to lose your phone is when the mountain lion you hired as the harpist tears off all your skin! Don't worry, it comes in camo and pink too!

In the mood for something... sexy? Camo's got you covered there too! But not too much, this is lingerie. For added fun, wearing matching camo bra and panties! Now in edible flavours, like "bark" or "deer blood" or "duck feathers!"

Are you tired of your sims wearing all the best dresses? Want to be a cosplaying-sim-whore while still redneck classy? No joke, my sim wears the exact same dress when she tries to seduce her husband outside. Because what's the point of sims if not giggling about the "woohoo?"

There's nothing quite like a mother that ignores her screaming child to the suffering of everyone around her. When your adorable little angel is dressed in this, you don't even have to go through the bother of pretending to ignore her, you can just straight up watch those screams and the cringes of those around you. Fuck yeah, parenthood.

If you want to go as a group and not stand out with your own personality at all, instead letting the guys all hit on the one of you with the biggest boobs, well then you can! Because homecoming is all about taking the woods to the dance floor.

And now, for the greatest dress, of all time.
It's classy.
It's a halter top, you don't get much more classy than that.

It's got a great design.
I mean it's poofy in the middle so of course.

It's green.
Straight up green camo, bitches. I can hide in the woods in this thing.

With the fashionable bonus of "hunter's orange" train, so while hunting in this dress at least people won't shoot your legs.

Can you handle this majestic dress? I can't.

Because sometimes, wearing cowboy boots just isn't enough of a "fuck you, I'm a redneck."

I don't think I've ever had so much writing in a blog post. Let me know what you think, or if you would actually wear one of these. I know I would... not. I would probably not.