Thursday, May 24, 2012

Top Ten Things Said Before Committing a Crime

...that I will overhear in my lifetime.
Also known as "I'm too lazy to write about my life." Or "Things people say before hospital trips."

1. "It's just a llama, who's going to miss it?"

2. "Не стреляйте в меня, у меня есть жена и дети, стрелять мой партнер, он не женат."

3. "Sup' nigga chu ready to bash this place up?
"Frank, not all the spray tans in the world can make you black."

4. "ROAD TRIP!"

5.  "What can go wrong?"

6. "Here, hold my beer and watch this!"

7. "Mommy, can we keep it?"

8. "It's not responding to my poking stick!"
"Then poke harder!"

9. "You know, Zena had a really good idea, let's do that!"

10. "And this is why we can't have nice things."